As the role of Director of Sport in all independent schools evolves, it assumes ever greater dimensions of dealing with parents. This is rarely approached as a welcome part of the job. Modern parents like to keep in touch with their children’s school, and can be quick with an opinion.
Why does sport suffer this intrusiveness at least as much - if not more – than any other subject? Principally, because it is such an emotional aspect of school life, also because it is exclusive: there are only 11 shirts in the bag. Someone gets to wear one, someone else doesn’t. And finally, because all parents know so much about it . They may accept that teachers could know more than them about Maths or languages – but all parents are expert in sport!
Sometimes it can feel like the Director of Sport is the Customer Services Manager, dealing with dissatisfied and opinionated customers, enquiries about discontinued lines, selections returned as unsuitable, unwelcome comments regarding quality of products and threats to take business elsewhere if they don’t get their own way. Unreasonable requests proliferate, and grateful appreciation is rare.
Will it always be like this? Certainly, the day is not imminent when the sector will awake to find that parents have suddenly recognised the value in what schools do. Distant also is the father who calls to say that his child really isn’t good enough to be in the team, or the mother who emails to apologise for shouting ill-informed nonsense from the touchline.
Sport has always stimulated high emotion, and this is never more evident than when parents are trying to protect their precious offspring from disappointment. It is fashionable to promote the importance of failure in the learning environment, and the primacy of resilience in responding to errors. However, these are medium term, intellectual consolations in the face of an avalanche of knee-jerk, immediate emotions and poor examples of self control. Failure might be desirable in theory, but few are the parents that value the opportunity to learn from it.
If it isn’t going to go away, is there a way of managing this? If so, it must be based on a number of principles:
Firstly, communication with parents must be proactive, rather than reactive. Schools must communicate clearly in advance what they are going to do, and the systems and processes that they will employ to deliver identified outcomes. Without this, it is impossible to satisfy the limitless range of conflicting whims and suggestions contained within late evening wine-fuelled emails. A variety of mechanisms will be necessary to achieve this communication. There can be no room for confusion of what a school seeks to achieve.
Secondly, the programme must be benefit-led. Schools will need to explain why they operate as they do, and leverage science to support their reasoning. This will enhance the shift from emotional to intellectual. It is easier to understand the benefits of developing commitment and selflessness in the cold light of day, before the short term battle of missing a match to go shopping breaks out. The impact of physical activity on academic progress, self esteem and emotional intelligence is well documented, and intellectually indisputable. Educating parents in this science will be a bigger challenge than teaching children.
Finally, it might help to give parents a positive role in supporting physical activity in schools. Research is clear on how developmental environments are achieved in sport, and the vital role that parents and coaches play in establishing this. Parents need to understand they can help their children learn to love being active, and learn life lessons. Or teach them to hate losing, ritually disrespect the umpire and despise the opposition.
The future of independent school sport is a complex landscape. And one in which parents will continue to be intrusive. Managing communications with them will always be one of the biggest successes a Director of Sport could have.
